Sunday, December 11, 2005

the education of a brotherless cynic

I never really thought that I was missing out on anything by not having a brother. In fact, if anything, I have been spared the bruises, taunting and ridicule. It must be God's provision too--seeing as how little I am, I prob. couldn't handle the wailing on. So, ok, sweet--avoided that hassle, thank God. Just because I grew up with two sisters doesn't mean I am clueless about men, does it.....?!

As it turns out, I guess I missed out on some really valuable lessons concerning the masculine mind....lessons that my roommates Courtney and Melissa (who both have brothers) are patiently teaching me presently. I am a bit embarrassed to say that I am still this naive about such topics, and with my 24th birthday just around the corner too! However, after a series of frustrating and unsuccessful (on my part) pillow fights with the guys this weekend, it is quite clear that I am in desperate need of an education. My lack of skill and effective strategery must have been apparent to the guys, seeing as all their rage was exclusively taken out on my dainty, petite self. My petiteness has acted as a defense mechanism for me in the past (I am the smallest of the small, have mercy, how pathetic are you for choosing to pick on someone so delicate!)---but they were relentless! The more I fought back, the more they persisted! (I admit it wasn't a totally unpleasant experience--it is funny to see Dan shuffling about and brandishing pillows.)

At the end of the evening, I sat down with my hair all bird-nesty, my ego crumpled and bruised, and with many questions swirling in my head. Don't these guys respect me?! Are they just trying to prove their masculinity? Why are guys so violent? What the heeeeey?! As I expressed my outrage to Court and Mel, they remained unsimpathetic--they even went so far as to say that I had brought it on myself simply by fighting back!!! Can you believe that?! I am not the type to just sit down and admit defeat--not without an all out battle at least. Someone of my stature has to posess at least a small bit of healthy rage if just to retain respect. I continued to argue my point,but they did not buy my feminist rational. After a few hours of them patiently explaining to me the method of remaining unaffected...cool calm and collected in the face of annoying brothers (this pisses them off more than anything) did it only begin to sink in.

I still have a long way to go, and I am not entirely convinced....and this is why I really need your input! If you are a brother, or if you have a brother....please, for the love of all sisterdom, explain to me these things!! I covet your comments...my life may depend on it. (just kidding, but really, what in the world!?)

20 comments:

myfriendfelicity said...

yeah dude. sorry i missed this one. i totally agree. which is why i don't fight back. i never really thought of it but it makes sense. that must be why i either grow scilent or leave the room when the guys start slinging around pillows or just get roudy in general (i.e. aeroman). it also must be why lindsay doesn't. ha!

Bryan Karas said...

oh emily. i feel like we had this conversation once,... like a thousand years ago. (grin)

Laura said...

Eema, this is so true. I also realize that I am quite clueless about guys due to having two sisters and zero brothers!

Emily Cernoia said...

I am glad you agree Laura Beth. Hm, I am starting to realize that most of my friends that are women only have sisters as well. And we all remain completely unawares of these valuable infomations...

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